i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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