I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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