Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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