is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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