dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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