Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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