on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
