If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
