You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
