Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
