I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
