New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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