His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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