I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize