So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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