i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
