i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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