Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My vagina just clenched in fear
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
