I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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