yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
