my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
