Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
