its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
