be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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