Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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