If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
