xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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