don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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