Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
