I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had sex on a roof
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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