The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
