Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
