A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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