she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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