Ambien. No doubt about it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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