Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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