Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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