I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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