hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize