So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
