my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
