I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
