Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
