dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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