haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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