wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
