Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
