do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nutella sex= disaster
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
