i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
