They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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