Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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