guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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