is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
